Invented by Moms

As many of you know, I have a new facebook page, Empowered MompreneursThis has become an amazing way to connect with moms in business. As I have been meeting these amazing ladies, I have come across some pretty cool products.. all began as a need, and then became a huge “AH-hah!” moment for these moms– just as Pump It Up was for me.

These three mom entrepreneurs have come up with solutions to our never-ending dirty kitchen chairs, messy bottle feedings, and hard-to-put-on baby jackets.

Read on about their great products and their stories of how they invented them:

The SmartSeat Chair Protector was invented by Rebecca Rabson, a mom who found a solution to protect upholstered chairs with comfortable fabric seat covers that are waterproof, stain resistant, reusable, and machine washable.

In an interview with The Mom Writes, Rebecca was asked what inspired her to create The Smart Seat Chair Protector and she replied: “My boys! I have two very adorable, but incredibly messy boys. We purchased a new dining room set a couple of years ago and I wanted to be able to eat meals together as a family. But I also didn’t want my kids  to ruin my new chairs. I looked for a waterproof seat cover that would discreetly protect my new chairs, but I couldn’t find anything that I liked. I didn’t want a vinyl seat cover. I didn’t like the way that they look and my boys didn’t like the way that they feel when you sit on them. I also didn’t want a full slipcover – I loved my new chairs and didn’t want to entirely change the way that they look. The  SmartSeat Chair Protector was my solution – an attractive, waterproof seat cover that is easy to use and comfortable to sit on.”

Monica Guerra Jones is the mom inventor behind BUNCHEES Baby Bottle Bibs (a solution to messy bottle feedings).

Monica writes:

Who knew that a dribbly bottle-feeder and a stretchy hair accessory would inspire me so much!

My baby boys were so messy that every time they ate from their baby bottle, their bib would became so soaked that I had to literally change their outfit after each feeding. The messy bottle feeding not only left them soaked but myself as well. My oldest son’s cheeks and chin became red and chapped from the wetness and constant dribble coming out of the corners of his mouth while he ate that would run down his cheeks, chin and down into his neck.  At bathtime, it was a chore to wash his neck folds, where formula and messy dribble would collect and become crusty–ick! Having had enough, I decided to search for a solution–so off I went to Babies R Us, where there was nothing available for this specific problem. I then went to Target, Wal Mart, Baby Depot and all the other big-name baby stores but to no avail, there was nothing on the market for this.

I began using pricey but better quality bibs to help absorb the dribble, but then my baby became quite good at pulling his bibs off while I fed him and they didn’t absorb the gap in between the neck and bib opening. And so I was destined to deal with it until he was off the bottle for good. Fast forward three years later, when I had my second baby who began having the same issues with bottle-feeding, I became determined to find a solution this time, but how? He was only a few weeks old when I was feeding him and happened to notice my scrunchie on my end table. I was having trouble with a leaky baby bottle at the moment and for some reason, I wondered if I slipped the scrunchie underneath the bottle cap, would it be able to help with the leakage? And so I tried it, feeling a little silly and then not so silly after all! It worked like a charm, soaking up most of the bottle leaks and I officially had what Oprah calls the “a-ha” moment. Another huge a-ha moment was when I held the edge of the scrunchie underneath his lip, it caught the dribble running out of the sides of his mouth! I decided to make a much more absorbent version out of a microfiber kitchen towel and added three mini-bibs to extend and absorb what was coming out of his mouth. Along with my baby, I enlisted my friends and family members who had just had babies to try them out, and they all thought it was ingenious and one of the coolest baby products ever.

Hoping to help other moms and dads who had this problem with their messy babies, we launched Baby Bottle Bibs on our website in February of 2008. We have received worldwide acceptance and very positive feedback from those who have used our product. We even won a prestigious award from iParenting Excellent Baby Products for 2008! I have my baby boys to thank, they (along with my “vintage” scrunchie) were what sparked my creativity and allowed me to invent this great product. My boys continue to inspire me and I find myself thinking of more and more ways to help our lives a little more fun and easier for us all!

Betsy Dolan invented the Wrapeaze (a hooded wrap that envelops a child in warmth quickly and easily-with one hand)

Betsy writes:

Running errands with kids can be a hassle, especially when you have to take jackets on and off constantly.

WrapeazeTM is a unique product that was created out of sheer necessity! As a mother of two young boys, I often cringe at the idea of running errands with the kids in tow. While I love my boys endlessly, I don’t love the quick trips to the grocery store, daycare, the post office or the dry cleaner. Everyone is happy until the car stops and it is time to get out of the car seats and get jackets on. …The pleasant experience of running a couple of “quick” errands often turns into a long, miserable chore. I can’t imagine I am alone!

In our busy world, parenting sometimes means maximizing the few minutes or hours you have with your kids each day. I have saved precious minutes and been spared many tears and tantrums by avoiding jackets and simply wrapping up with Wrapeaze.

Once the initial product was developed, with the help of my crafty sister in law, my boys wore their wraps everywhere. I got stopped daily by other parents who asked where they could purchase one for their little ones. After many revisions, we have come up with a quality product I know your little ones will love!

The original Wrapeaze is a hooded wrap that envelops the child in warmth quickly and easily-with one hand. No more wrestling with little arms and sleeves while you stand in a cold parking lot. Your child will love that their movement is unrestricted, and you can avoid tantrums and tears. There is no better way to fuse utility with style!

These are such inspiring examples of moms who used their everyday life experiences to create something great to share!

I am going to continue featuring mom invented products and businesses on my blog. Please send me an email if you would like to be featured (brendadronkers@gmail.com)!

Peace and love,
Bren
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Mom Inspired Products

More and more moms are becoming entrepreneurs as they’ve developed product ideas from their everyday lifestyles. I’m sure we’ve all had that “Why didn’t I think of that?” moment when we hear about a new child-based product that has come out and is extremely useful. As moms, we are constantly thinking about our children– so if we figure out something that works for them, why not share it and make it available to all moms out there too?

As the founder of Pump It Up, I am always looking to encourage and support other moms on the pursuit of entrepreneurship. The road can be rocky, but the rewards can be amazing in so many ways. Like most moms, I created PIU to solve a problem. Most mompreneurs have done the same. As they have raised their little ones, they have realized a need or a problem and then have created the solution for not only their own children, but hopefully for millions of others.

Mom Invented features moms who have created products and business ideas, and I wanted to share some inspiring examples:

Kiss-u-Tissue Tubes were invented by mom Amy Davis (tissue dispensers that fit into car cup-holders).

In an interview with Mom Invented, Amy stated: “I had never worked in business in any way before I started this company. It all began when I was driving my kids to a friend’s house in September of 2007 when one of them cried out for a tissue. A quick glance in the rear-view mirror told me that this kid needed a tissue NOW, so I quickly began to search my immediate surroundings: the seat next to me, the floor, and the hold-everything bag next to me; only to come up short. And then as I reached behind me to search the floor of the back seat I glanced up at the road just in time to swerve out of the way of my neighbor’s fence.  That was a wake-up call.  I pulled over to the side of the road so I could attend to one thing at a time.  And I thought, ‘I can’t be the only one with kids who have autumn allergies and wait until the last minute to cry out for a tissue.”

Tammany Atkinson is the mom inventor behind Bee’s Knees (patented baby pants with neoprene in the knees to protect babies while crawling on hardwood and tile floors)

In Tammany’s interview, she said: “I started Bee’s Knees when I noticed our son Jackson’s knees were red and bruised from our hardwood and tile floors. I tried crawling around to see what it felt like and I felt so badly for him that I was inspired to create a solution.”


The Zaky is one of the best mom-inspired product story I’ve ever heard of (saved the best for last).

Mom Invented shared Yamile Jackson’s story behind this great product:

In 2001 Yamile Jackson gave birth to her son Zachary 12 weeks prematurely. He weighed less than 2 pounds, and when he was 3 weeks old, Tropical Storm Allison hit Houston, shutting down power and water in the hospital. The hospital staff, Yamile and her husband, Larry, had to keep Zachary alive by hand for nine hours until he could be evacuated, and at that time Yamile made a promise to do whatever she could to help all babies — and prayed for the opportunity to do it on Zachary’s behalf, not in his memory.During the 155 nights Zachary spent in the hospital, Yamile spent at least 10 hours a day with him in the neonatal intensive care unit, but she hated leaving him at night. She had learned from the nurses how to use her hands to comfort him — how to hold him and how to touch him to give him boundaries, but she wanted something to continue to comfort Zachary in her absence. So she sewed hand-shaped pillows, which she slept with to give her scent, that she could leave with her son to keep him feeling warm and secure.

She could see a difference in Zachary’s monitors when he was being cradled by the pillows, and seeing that he was at ease helped Yamile feel more relaxed. Two weeks after she finally brought Zachary home, Yamile got a call from the development director at the NICU to see if she could make her “little hands” for the other premature babies, and she knew this was how she could keep her promise to help babies and their parents.

Yamile spent the next three years refining her hand-sewn design and bringing The Zaky to market. It’s now available in many retail and online stores, is used in hospitals nationwide, and has won numerous product awards.

 Whether it’s an itty-bitty product idea, or a huge life changing business concept, moms can use their day to day experiences to help them become successful in many different ways. Let your ideas soar!

I will be highlighting one or two businesses in my blog, as well as on my new podcasts that will be out soon. Please send me an email if you would like to be featured (brendadronkers@gmail.com)!
Peace and love.
-Bren

Establishing ME Time

Every mom out there has those burnout moments (when the thought of changing one more diaper is unbearable, and having the energy to play ring-around-the-rosie for the 5th time seems impossible). It’s so important for moms to establish “me” time to stay sane and avoid getting burnt out.

Some moms feel guilty about taking time away from their kids, but there is nothing to feel guilty about doing a little recharging. Moms say that time to themselves helps them appreciate their children more and gives them the energy they need to be a good mother to them.

BabyCenter asked moms what they do to relax, regroup and re-energize. Here are the top 10 things moms responded with:
1) A warm soak
A long bubble bath with candles, music, and a good book was a favorite escape for many of our moms. Something about the warmth of the water and the soft lights and sounds — in fact, it’s a lot like being in the womb. Whatever the reason, for many mothers this small pleasure seems to offer enormous returns.

“I tell the kids, ‘Mommy is having her quiet time, so if you need something, tell Daddy.’ I close and lock the door. I turn the radio to my favorite station, indulge in my favorite bubble or bath oil, make the water nice and warm (sometimes I have a cup of tea or wine), grab my favorite magazine or a novel, and slide in.” — Debbie Harris

2) Body work
Some form of physical pampering: Readers suggested a manicure, a pedicure, a massage, a facial, or a new hairdo. The benefits are plentiful: Not only will you look and feel better, but for a brief interlude you can enjoy having someone take care of you.

Reader K. Gaither-Banchoff frequently receives some form of bodywork (such as massage therapy or shiatsu): “It’s not really an indulgence as much as maintenance; I’ve found that being a mom is really hard on my body. Bodywork keeps me healthy and feeling good so that I can focus on my daughter’s needs. Indulgence or maintenance, it always feels great, helps me relax, and gets my mind off the weekly chores.”

3) A night on the town
A “date” with Dad will give you both a break — and a chance to get reacquainted. But try not to spend the whole evening talking about the kids. Reminisce about how you met, your first date, your favorite memory of life before kids. It will help you reconnect at a time when you both really need each other.

“Remember that taking a break from the baby and spending time with your spouse is actually helping the baby — because you are nourishing your relationship as a couple.” — Vicki McCarthy

4) Adult conversation
Dinner or an outing with a friend provides a change of pace, a new perspective, a fresh experience — and adult conversation.

“My husband and I have a system: We let each other out. I’ll watch the kids and let him go out and play his guitar loud with friends … I will have dinner or go out with a friend, sometimes to see music I enjoy that he doesn’t. Occasionally, I’ll have an all-day outing with a friend.” — Frana K. Baruch

5) Healthy indulgences

A walk in the fresh air, a bike ride on a deserted street, a run on the beach — these are a few of our readers’ healthy indulgences. Choose a favorite activity that gets you out of your everyday routine and into another dimension.

“I love karate. I take three classes a week, which include strength exercises, stretching, and lots of cardio, thanks to sparring and kata sessions. It is an excellent way to work off stress and frustration during the week.” — Jenifer C. Marston

6) Deep sleep
The chance to sleep late in the morning, or enjoy an afternoon nap — any kind of shut-eye is something of a miracle, but these are the best. Many readers find those hard-to-catch-up-on REMs can do a lot to recharge batteries.

“My personal favorite is when Dad watches the baby and lets me sleep in.” — Sabrina Justice

7) Mini-makeover
A shopping spree — and a new outfit, say readers, can do wonders for the psyche. Like a mini-makeover, it will help you feel renewed.

“I have two kids and after I gave birth to each of them it made me feel good to go and get a new outfit and have my hair done.” — Miki Brittenham

8) Things that grow

Gardening, readers say, nurtures not only plants but people. The fresh air, exercise, and rewards of watching your garden flourish are especially rejuvenating — and provide a sense of accomplishment when the rest of your life seems mired in piles of washing and dirty dishes.

“I planted a couple dozen plants on Saturday and this was quite relaxing. Gardening was my ‘thing’ before becoming pregnant and I hope to get my yard back in order now that [my daughter] is a little older.” — Deidre

9) Time alone
A solitary movie, a solo walk, or a similar outing provides a simple break that many readers say they depend on. Just being alone can give you time to stock up on inspiration and ideas.

“My favorite way to indulge myself is to take the day off work, leave the husband at work and the kids at daycare, then go shopping and to lunch by myself. After lunch, if I feel up to more shopping, I go. If not, I go home to take a nap and then I see an early movie. I feel great that evening and have a lot of fun with the children!” — Tina Mann

10) Word play
Time alone to read a book — or even just a magazine — all the way through is a major feat when you’re a mother. Snatch the time when you can, and you’ll find that reading provides a cohesive alternative narrative when your own life feels fragmented. It also gives you time with people who won’t throw temper tantrums or demand your constant attention.

“My favorite way to rejuvenate myself is to wait for the baby to go down for a nap, then pull out my latest arrival from my magazine subscriptions, close the door, flop on my bed, and slowly read each and every article. It’s a small but very luxurious way to spend some time by myself.” — Myra Perez

These indulgences may seem small to someone who doesn’t have kids, but something as simple as taking a bath or reading a magazine can really go a long way for a mom. Remember to take time out for yourself to energize and recharge for the day.

Meet Bree Johnson, Mompreneur…

Bree Johnson is a mom of three who owns her own event company, Mod Events and Co, and creates handmade accessories for her etsy shop, CocoRoseCouture. I am constantly inspired when reading her blog, The Polka Dot House, to see furniture she has re-purposed, and to see that she is still extremely involved with her family every step of the way.

Why did you start your companies and when?
I always knew that I wanted to do something with my life. I see so many mothers who forget to find out who they are, as well as taking care of their own family. I feel like a happy mom makes a happy family. I started my event company when I moved to Canada from Rexburg, Idaho.. I wasn’t allowed to work, so having my own business seemed like a good idea. I’ve always been a girlie girl– loved parties, was one of those 5 year olds that threw balls for all her dolls– that, and I’m an extremely organized person.
So, I went to event planning courses and floral design courses while I was waiting to become a landed immigrant in Canada (they call it a permanent resident). They wouldn’t let me finish my Bachelor’s Degree in Canada at any university (until I had status here). I took continuing ed classes, and after those classes, I decided I didn’t want to work for anyone. I wanted to carry out my own ideas, not someone else’s. So in essence, I planned weddings and decorated for Christmas parties for a couple years.
Starting a business takes money and I needed more capital, so I decided to open an etsy shop to raise money for the event company. Little did I know it would take off in a big way.. and now my etsy shop, CocoRoseCouture, is my soul source of income and turned out to be my main business. I do events on the side and private functions for people, and it’s still my passion.

Tell us a little bit about yourself and your family. How does your background relate to your businesses?
I’m married, 25 years old, have twin 3 year old boys and an 18 month old daughter– they are the true joy in my life. I grew up in a very creative family. Every Wednesday during the summer when I was little, my mom turned the TV off, and would have us work on scrapbooks or pick something new we wanted to learn to do. She made us set goals. I learned lots of technical things through scrapbooking and other crafts during all my summers growing up.
My grandma was also very inspiring. Every meal had a centerpiece. We used fancy china, etc. and I just remember lots of great memories coming from setting tables. She inspired my creativity.
I also think I’ve had some hard knocks in life. I had 2 sisters pass away when I was a teenager, along with other things.. but my motto my whole life has been that I have a choice, and I choose optimism. I think my work always exudes optimism. I love color, I love bright patterns, and I love things that remind me of happy memories. Life is worth celebrating.

You are a mom of two twin boys and one little girl. How do you find time to work?
I work at night. My kids go to bed at 7:00, so from then until midnight every night I work on shop listings and making pieces. My husband sits with me and he’ll watch Modern Family with me while I sew. We go out every Friday. If theres ever anything at night where I need a break, I will take it and just hang out with my husband. I think it’s important to find the balance that works for you and your family. During nap time and while my boys are at preschool in the mornings, I do marketing, answer emails, get ready for photo shoots, and photograph product. I think it’s all about scheduling and using every part of your day.

What has been your greatest success with your company/companies?
I planned a couple weddings. Seeing the whole setup before the bride got there is always the best part. Then watching their reaction.. totally stellar. I think being noticed by boutiques that want to carry my product makes me excited. Knowing my pieces are all over the world is kind’ve a cool feeling. I also get excited when my work gets featured in magazines and editorial shoots. It’s fun to see my ideas where I created the feel for the shoots, and having them be captivating to others. I also love when I get small emails of people saying they love this, or thank you for doing the special order. Dealing with fun customers and special orders are always exciting, I never get bored.

What has been your biggest source of inspiration? What keeps you going?
Like I said before, I draw form happy memories in my life– carousels, dresses, china plates, old photos, etc. What keeps me going is an innate sense to create. I think we as human beings have that built into us.

What is the most rewarding thing about being your own boss?
Deciding when I want to work, how I want to work, and being able to do whatever creative thing pops in my head next, without having to ask permission.

How have you managed to juggle the roles of mom and business owner? What gets pushed aside? (cooking, cleaning, etc.)?
You do not want to see the upstairs of my house, my bathrooms, or any of my drawers. I also don’t have an office, so half of my bonus room is always covered in silk and vintage buttons. I do a lot of crock pot meals.

What advice would you offer to other moms creating their own products and ideas?
Find something you love to make. If you wouldn’t wear it or put it in your home, it’s not going to sell. Your product is a reflection of you. Try and make something that is your own design, something unique that screams to people: I need this! Keep working hard.. it takes time to build a business (and a learning curve). Get good photos of your product. Network and meet people– I found my photographers through etsy, we work together to do amazing editorial shots. That, for me, is such a fun part of my job (secret inner stylist coming out). Make your shop or business feel cohesive, from your logo down to your packaging, make sure it feels the same. The basis for my shop was like a cupcake shop for accessories.

What is the biggest obstacle you had to overcome as a mom business owner?
I think knowing that I’m the one who has to deal with feedback. Some days it’s wonderful, but other times packages dont get there and people are mad about wait times, etc. Knowing not to take it personally when someone isn’t happy took awhile for me to learn. I had to learn to think of it as a business.. not me.

What is the best advice you can give a mom who wants to start a business, or a mom who already has one, and needs to hear from mom’s like you?
Don’t give up. Find your niche market and cater towards that. Don’t compare– other people are at different stages in life and some have been running business for a lot of years. It takes time for it to get to the point where it will be successful. Talk to other creative people, especially if you sell on etsy. Join the teams they do. Do critiques (which I did with my shop a lot in the beginning). You can learn so much through others. Don’t worry about being the most amazing shop on etsy, because people will love your product for you.. and heaven knows that didn’t happen overnight. Did I mention get to know creative people? Almost all my big breaks have come through networking on my blog, twitter, through fashion shows, fairs etc. Love your product make it you. Talk to everyone you meet.

Bree is such an inspiring mom, and reminds us all that it CAN be done– she has found what works for her and her businesses. What steps can you take to insure your work and family balance? Congratulations, Bree, on inspiring us all!

Make Money Blogging your Heart Away!

Stay-at-home-moms have found a new way to make money: blogging!
Many moms started their blogs to document their daily lives, and found that they picked up lots of readers along the way– causing them to realize they can make money doing something they enjoy (and in the comfort of their own home).

So how do they do it?

There are several different ways to make money blogging:

Google AdSense:

Bloggers can get paid to place Google ads on their blog. Google AdSense recognizes key words that they use in their post to strategically put ads on that match what they’re writing about. For example, if a mom is blogging about diapers in her post, Google will put on an ad for diapers, or another baby product. The blogger is paid every time someone clicks on an ad, and each ad is worth a different amount of money per click.

Amazon Associates:

Amazon Associates is a program bloggers can use to make commission off of people buying products from Amazon (directed by them). Bloggers can simply review a product in their post, and include an Amazon product link. The specific link includes their Associate tag and the blogger is paid for qualifying sales coming through that link. This can be a great tool to make money since moms like to buy products that other moms have reviewed and like themselves.

Sponsors/Private Ads:Sponsors have become very popular in the blogging world. Since there are so many different types of blogs out there, it has become a marketer’s dream. Bloggers charge people/companies for an ad space on their blog, and the prices differ greatly due to blog popularity (anywhere from $5 an ad to $100+ an ad). A mommy-based blog will usually have sponsors targeting to that audience, such as a children’s clothing store company, or someone’s handmade girl headbands etsy shop. Some bloggers even trade ad space with other bloggers to get their name out there and increase traffic to their blog. The blogger monitors the ad space, and they usually have a tab on their blog for people to contact them through email if someone is interested in sponsoring.

Making money blogging takes a lot of time and effort. It is not a “get rich quick” scheme. However, with the right tools and determination, stay-at-home-moms can be very successful at it. It can become an ideal way to make money since moms can do the work on their own time (You know, in that one hour of nap time during the day!)

Power Mom Bloggers

A mom finds her entire world changing after having a kid (or two, or three). Her priorities are different, to say the least. Once she discovers how easy it is to connect with other moms in her same situation, she can build a spirit of familiarity and trust between strangers almost immediately.

So, it is no wonder that mom bloggers are one of the most powerful and fastest growing groups today. These mommy bloggers are referred to as “power moms”. (Don’t we all love the sound of that?) According to Nielsen Online, power moms are women between the ages of 25 and 54 with at least one child and who participate regularly in online activities.

According to Emarketer, 4 MILLION moms are currently blogging out there! In addition to blogging, a recent study by Child’s Play Communications shows that 79 percent of moms are active on social networking sites, such as Facebook. Marketers are now thriving on social media since moms are much more likely to purchase a children’s product based on a networking site or blog recommendation (and not only are lots of moms talking, but they also talk about and share information about products more often than other females or men).

Moms have such a unique and honest voice that they can share through blogging. They love to read what other moms have to say, and have the option to read a variety of themes through blogs (humor, marriage and family, faith, crafting, photography, moms of kids their child’s age, local moms, friends– the list is endless!)
A lot of moms even turn their blogs into a hardcover book and print them at the end of each year, creating a family journal to keep forever. (I know I would love to have something like this from my mom to look back on).

Many moms have said that blogging helps them to not feel so alone, and like they have a voice. In a survey from Marketing to Women Online asking why moms blog, one woman answered, “Receiving all the support through comments when my daughter was in the hospital changed my life. It kept my spirits high to read the support from friends, family, and strangers that left comments on the blog during that time.” Another mom mentioned, “I like being able to help people, whether by making them laugh, or turning them on to a greener product or great resource. Getting positive feedback feels really good.”
When asked, “How does writing/reading a mom blog make you feel?”, one mom replied:
“Good. I am able to laugh with these people, cry with these people, pray with these people. I am connected with people all over the world. Nothing wrong with that.”

Practicing Discernment in all we do…

As many of you know, I am a business/franchise/life coach/consultant/mentor/teacher/speaker..take your pick. It has always been my passion to help others through any means necessary, and it seems I have always attracted those in need, whether financially, physically, psychologically or spiritually. What I didn’t understand was that each time I did this, I was trying to help them, yet, at the same time, I was also empathing most, if not all, of the pain they were experiencing at the time. Each time I would help someone, I would actually get physical symptoms, or migraines, or depression….you name it.

It seems that my true calling is to help and heal…I know this to be true. It has taken me several years of healing myself, and of learning to build a shield of protection from those in pain. By practicing meditation and Reiki, I am better able to help friends, without feeling their pain, or experiencing their feelings, or experiencing guilt for their financial or personal issues.

Also, I have becoming blatantly aware that when I practice discernment, I am at peace in my life. That’s because I am, at those times, surrounding myself with those who are like-minded, and align with positive my energy and intent.

HOWEVER, when I fail to practice discernment and I don’t listen to my intuition,  or I ignore that ‘pit’ in my stomach when I meet someone in business, or life in general.. it always turns out very poorly.

For example, in the past, I have enabled friends. I have actually gone so far as to purchase a house, pay for vacations and basically try to buy an empty friendship by showering them with gifts. Yet, all along, I knew that this wasn’t the appropriate behavior for a friendship..

However, at times, I still wonder into situations, particularly in business, that become just too much for a highly sensitive person like myself. I most recently worked for a client who has taken advantage of every single person who works for him (now including myself). When I first met him, I ignored every feeling of discomfort, every ounce of concern, in favor of a solid position in a company that promised to ‘change the world’. Of course, I want to change the world!… Sign me up! .. who wouldn’t want to align with a visionary who wants nothing but the best for the ‘universe’? …..

One very long, extremely painful month later, (and one day to be a book), I am shaking my head, realizing that once again, I am being reminded to practice discernment. Someone should have a class for practicing discernment….hmmmmmm :)

Nonetheless, I refuse to change who I am.. This is who I am. I am a helper, a healer, a consultant, a counselor. Yet, I need to constantly practice discernment in all I do. Easy? NO. My personal journey? DEFINITELY!!

Practice..practice..practice… :)

Peace and love. BREN

A Gift for Yourself this Christmas..

You know, we take an awful lot of time during the Holidays doing for others, buying for others, cooking for others. It is wonderful..I wouldn’t change a thing about it! It is, after all, the best part of the season…doing for others. However, as the season gets busier, we tend to forget that we need to take care of ourselves as well! Many of us, particularly moms, don’t often indulge on themselves. So, be sure to do so at Christmas…even if it is a small indulgence.

This year, I gave myself the gift of Mindfulness. Matt and Jenelle have been educated on the practice of Mindfulness for awhile now. Ron and I enjoying learning to practice mindfulness ourselves. So.. my gift to myself was an Eckhart Tolle website membership. That way, I can fill myself up with positive, present moment teachings anytime! For those who haven’t heard of Mindfulness, here is a definition:

Mindfulness practice means to be constantly aware or conscious of we do. It requires us to keep our minds absorbed in the present moment, noticing the details and nuances of our actions.

I also plan on giving myself the gift of a bike ride tomorrow, and will certainly end the evening tomorrow night with a hot bath!

Meanwhile, my indulgence tonight is to lay here in bed, write a blog, and visit all of my friends on facebook for the Holidays. My personal time. I love it.

Did you buy or do something special for yourself this year? It isn’t too late. It is never to late to be good to yourself! As a matter of fact, if you fill yourself up, you have more to give to others ;)

Merry Christmas to all! Peace and love, Brenda

Mindfulness as an Alternative Treatment for Depression

This is a great article that offers hope to millions of depression sufferers..Mindfulness, a Buddhist Practice, as an Alternative Treatment for Depression
Posted in Depression by Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross on Dec 17, 2010
The practice of Mindfulness, which has its origins in Buddhist philosophy and teaches people to be present in the moment and aware of their surroundings, is now being acknowledged as an alternative to antidepressants. For those who suffer from a major depressive disorder, this is great news. This information was delivered in a recent study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry and followed patients in remission. The results showed that those using Mindfulness did as well or better than those who took antidepressants or a placebo, and those patients were more likely to be protected from a relapse.
 

One of the problems with medication in general is a lack of compliance. Basically, when people feel better they often abandon their Rx protocol. They may feel they don’t need it or they want to avoid some of the negative side effects.

When Mindfulness is employed both independently and with a clinician, the only side effects are positive ones. People experience a greater sense of calm and are generally able to focus better. Many previous studies have shown the positive physiological effects of the practice of Mindfulness which is why it has been used extensively in the medical profession with very good results.

This practice can be beneficial for all who undertake to learn it, with the only drawback being the amount of time required to truly see the benefits. It is necessary to spend at least 30 to 40 minutes per day in a mindfulness meditation which for many seems like time they don’t have. As a therapist, when my patients report not being able to find 30 minutes a day to relax, it becomes clear to me that this lack of time is at least one source of their anxiety or depression. I have seen the very act of making the time have a positive effect on an individual’s mood.

The next step in this discovery is to make Mindfulness available to more people. There are many clinicians trained in the practice but they may not be accessible to all because of location or finances. There are books that describe the process of meditation for the purpose of Mindfulness and there are more and more on-line resources cropping up to assist people who are interested in making Mindfulness a part of their lifestyle.

Holiday Mindfulness in a Nutshell

I just had to share this amazing article on Mindfulness!
on Nov 24, 2010

Happy Holidaze!

For many of us, this season of festive gatherings are accompanied by mounds of cheese, cookies and cocktails, gift exchanges, hope and disappointment. December is the most challenging (and therefore most perfect) month to start or recommit to the practice of mindfulness. Here are a few gentle suggestions.

Love your relatives.
In A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle writes, “The relationship with your parents is not only the primordial relationship that sets the tone for all subsequent relationships, it is also a good test for your degree of Presence. The more shared past there is in a relationship, the more present you need to be. Otherwise, you will be forced to relive the past again and again.”

People who are close to us, especially people we have known our whole lives, have that rare ability to drive us extra crazy. Getting along with family during the holiday season may not be easy. Every family is dysfunctional in its own way. Regardless, may we be grateful for our families and the love, community and security they provide. And the opportunity to practice! As Ram Dass said, “If you think you are so enlightened, go spend a week with your parents.”

Get into the spirit with conscious gift giving.
Gifts from the heart are more cherished than those in shrink-wrap. Consider making presents for friends and family this year. Write poems, stories or letters. Create watercolors or drawings, candles, magnets or bookmarks. Not artistic? Make a mix CD, bake bread, pot a plant. Stretch your imagination and boycott prepackaged material goods this year.

Another great way to give is by volunteering your time or donating money to a charitable organization in your community. For the past several years, I have donated a few hundred dollars in lieu of store-bought gifts. There are tons of wonderful nonprofit organizations, such as Kiva.org, which provides microloans to entrepreneurs in developing countries.

Instead of buying me gifts, I ask friends and family to donate too. Nothing to unwrap, but still a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. The feeling of lovingkindness, or metta. And isn’t that what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown?

Eat, drink and be merry.
Or, should we deprive ourselves and strive for self-control and discipline? Naturally, “the middle way” of moderation takes care of this conundrum. Practice mindful eating, expressing gratitude for the food. Take small bites and chew slowly. Notice the unique taste, smell and texture of everything you eat. Eat small amounts throughout the day rather than three large meals. Take long strolls in the fresh air and practice yoga schmoga daily.

Rules are meant to be broken.

Healthy habits are important, but it’s equally as essential to know when to break the rules. To know that when we break our own rules, it’s okay. Why beat oneself up, internally or externally? If I find that I am consistently breaking a rule, rather than feeling guilty and pathetic, maybe that rule needs to be rewritten. This may sound like a cop-out, but for me it’s the difference between going to extremes and successfully balancing in a state of moderation.

For example, if a sweet tooth wants to lose weight, she may decide to eliminate all refined sugars from her diet. But then she is salivating at the thought of a cookie and letting sugary daydreams get in the way of life. Instead, she could consider replacing the sugar with a sweet treat with honey or fructose, or allow for one sugary dessert per week. Otherwise, after weeks on end without sweets, she will break down and eat a whole cheesecake in one sitting. Not ideal. Insert any “addiction” or craving in the place of sugar.

The bottom line: it’s perfectly fine to indulge — in moderation.


With greater mindfulness throughout the holiday season, we can get along better with our relatives, be compassionate, conscious consumers, avoid gaining weight from eating poorly — yet all the while letting go of goals and expectations in order to experience this holy moment.